Lovers, new and old, have been bombarded recently with helpful suggestions re: how to woo their loved ones tomorrow. (My darling is away, luckily, because I haven't bought his card). Now, after careful analysis of what our Sunday paper and local rag proposed, I’d like to add my two cents worth. If you want to make an impression - listen up lovers.
***Don’t buy the woman or man you’re trying to impress the, $35 Valentine’s Cinema Combo. I’m sorry but; regular soft drink, popcorn and a movie ticket just screams CHEAP plonker. Unless of course you are 15 or an OAP? In which case, go for it.
***Girls, do you really want to “spice it up this Valentines ... and feel special about your lady bits”, by succumbing to a beauty therapist and her hot wax. Ahem. Then there’s the question of the add-ons available in the form of Swarovski Crystal stick-ons. Va-jazzling be damned. Sorry. It just conjures up visions of macaroni kindergarten art. I’d recommend spending your $70+ on a small silk scarf to tie around your up-do (latest fashion trend from NYFW). That or a deposit on a pair of Kathryn Wilson heels. Then at least you’ll have something to KEEP for your efforts. Lastly on this subject, if the mood is right and you have the urge to say something deep like, ‘I love you’. Say it. Don’t stick it. Truly.
***Now, Saying it with flowers has never been more confusing. Personally men I wouldn’t follow, Lynda Hallinan’s (SUNDAY magazine) advice of picking your loved one some wilding agapanthus from the side of the road and presenting them bunched together with some gone-to-seed wild carrot. I do however agree on her suggestion of buying your Valentine an expensive vase. I’d present it with a single, bug free, red rose and a poem of your own making, just a couple of lines. Even better, a highly perfumed, single old fashioned rose like, Constance Spry , although you will need to find a friendly old gardener for that. If you decide to forage, take snips and don’t get caught.
*** Lastly, for those inclined to home craft and shabby chic, I would not present your loved one with a multi-coloured cottage garden arrangement adorned with animal skulls, unless he/she is a taxidermist or a pig hunter they just won’t get it.
***Each to his own. Remember, it’s the thought that counts. Just make sure it’s a considered and GENEROUS one. If in doubt, chocolate, champagne, a card or at a push beer, should cut it.
Happy Valentine’s Day lovers!
ps. a red card arrived in the post, I instantly recognized the writing, we’ve been swapping cards for twenty years plus now. There was a note scribbled on the back, ‘open on "heart" day’. Can't wait till tomorrow.