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| The dazed author poolside at Pondok Santi, Gili T, day 1 |
Heading off solo to Bali trailing a pandemic and post an earlier failed family trip to the tropical isles, did seem slightly nutz in several middle of the night awake periods. After having been on our way to the airport in a green taxi when positive PCR tests times four landed I was already scarred with the failed traveller brush. But some of the redic Indonesian pre-departure tests and insurance requirements had been eased so I thought I’d give it a bash. My gf in her Kuta Lombok villa kept WhatsApping with pictures of frangipani edged back yard pools, tanned ankles and colourful dugouts in sweeping turquoise ocean bays. She was having surf lessons, reflexology massages, drinking coconut water fresh out of its chilled nut. Living the life. While I was licking my homebody wounds and enjoying a bout of three weeks post-Covid flu!
I bit the bullet and re-booked, and when I wasn’t worrying about all the things that might go wrong, my flight out of Queenstown being cancelled for instance, and do I have to fill in an Australian traveller declaration if I'm transit-ing? Or is my Peduli Lindungi App loaded correctly? I thought about important, fun, pre going on holiday things – when is the best time to fake tan? Can I wax before I fake tan? Will Yumi-lashes last in tepid sea water? Where are my rubber Berkies? And isn’t it about damn time I bust out my OTT, heavily be-jewelled, silk, leopard-safari-patterned Camilla kaftan (bought from an online recycle store by middle daughter for the pool party launch of my third Lily Max book – Sun! Surf! Action! Back in the summer of 2017.)
My doesn’t time fly.
I was flying out of Queenstown on a Thursday so naturally, I started packing on Sunday. While I chose a selection of swimwear hurriedly bought at Quicksilver prior to the original trip I had the occasional moment … What if my bag gets left in Melbourne (where I was to swap planes) I should probs put one swim set, one cotton dress, one pair of undies, a toothbrush etc in my carry on. Just in case. Seb-on-Safari had tweeted that Quant-Ass had lost his baggage and done little to rectify the matter. I was flying Qantas into Bali at 10.30pm, making my way to my hotel, overnighting, being up at 7am to be delivered to Pendang Bai for the Fast Boat to Gili T, an hour and half over the oft turbulent Lombok Strait, then three days later, I’d be over another stretch of water on Lombok, with an 1 hour and 45 minutes’ drive from the ferry to my gf’s villa in Kuta. There would be no way in hell my bag would ever catch me up. The short transit times in Melbourne before my connecting flights to Denpasar were already alarming. One hour only, and in a different terminal wtf. I live in the mountains, it's July. We have weather. I started to feel like the 18 year old I once was heading off on my OE to London town. My mum and stepdad drove up from Waipukurau to see me off. All my friends came to the airport to see me off. Even the ones who my unconfident self did not know where my friends. We drank gin with piped tonic in a circle in the airport bar until it was time for me to get on the plane. I cried all the way to Singapore, thinking what the actual af am I doing leaving the land of milk and honey. Who even am I? The elderly couple next to me wolfed down their dinners with complimentary New Zealand whines but they did not offer me a hanky. Nor pat my hand. I was alone and lonely before I’d even arrived and felt the true meaning of those L-words.
Meanwhile, I signed up for SmartTraveller Aus and frequently checked the travel alerts for Bali. I already knew proof of negative PCR tests on arrival had been lifted, as had full Covid insurance covering hospitalisation and evacuation. A completed online customs declaration for Bali was now required (this turned out to be a time saver whee!) I was expecting to be temperature checked on arrival. I prayed I wouldn’t have a poorly timed middle-aged hot flush and be sent to a quarantine hotel. Then SmartTraveller told me quarantining had been lifted and self-isolation only was required if positive. Good news! However, women travelling alone were cautioned to be extra cautious, and especially to not take taxis. Alone. So I was a little alarmed when my arrival hotel informed me they had no spare drivers to pick me up at 11pm. The night before my departure I had enough required paperwork/printed documents to wallpaper a large water closet. I had a few hundy USD to cover my cash-only Visa purchase on arrival. I had my passport with years before expiry date, tickets, travel insurance, hotel address, ferry transfer, ferry ticket. Five long, floaty (but quite old) evening dresses. Pretty leather sandals bought last time I was in Bali four years ago, once worn. My one-only bottle of liquor. My … You name it I had it. Everything but the expectation of a person holding a placard with my name on it at Denpasar airport ...
By the following day, my personal pickup was sorted, thanks to my gf. I cannot tell you what a relief it was to find her driver Komang, amongst the masses of male drivers in the sweaty arrival hall. JANE written in faint blue biro on a piece of A4 paper. Hours of no leg room (and I’m 5ft 3), being marooned in a dead end corner of Melbourne airport for half an hour, our only contact to our required terminal a phone-on-the-wall, my Indo Covid App producing a red hazard triangle when scanned, the hour long Visa queue etc all floofed off my memory bank when I was on my way to the Artotel Sanur with a friendly face.
To anyone thinking of venturing out in the big wide world but too afraid …? If you can, I advise you to get amongst it. The real world does await and once the hoops have been jumped the refresh will do you the world of good.* This was my Eat, Pray without the love journey and once I landed on Gili Trewangan, slightly dazed from the sedative effects of 2 x Sea Legs, I squealed to the second friendly driver holding a placard with my name on it. ‘I’m here!’ And from then on, I was as relaxed as a tortoise and made sure I enjoyed every hot minute of it.
My warm welcome had only just begun ...
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| 'Welcome Drink' Pondok Santi Estate, Gili T |
*Just check and double check all travel requirements and complete them before you arrive at the airport. Also, screenshot all the barcodes of all the Apps you fill in, there is never any airport WIFI.
