 |
| It always pays to eat your wedge |
Iceberg lettuce doesn’t look like an iceberg nor does it taste like one, it tastes of sandwiches curing in a leather satchel in the cloak bay outside Room One.
Warm lettuce membrane pocked with butter and Marmite, a pale but pungent filigree between thin crusted white bread.
Wasn’t it a treat when mum changed it up and you found Marmited crinkle cut chippy crunch in place of damp raw leaf.
Often thought to be lacking in nutrients due to its bland demeanour - lettuce info dot org tells me the veg contains Vitamin K and folate.
And a superior sensory profile thanks to 96% water content it’s our obsessive diet culture’s perfect D for the carb-less lettuce cup.
Burger oft desired when shredding, to house your thick saturated fat meat patty and melted cheese it’s all about how many grams of protein nowadays meal.
Behold this mighty lettuce really comes into its own not sliced fine in a soft shell fish taco or minced and refrigerator-aged in a foot-long meatball Subway sub.
But when eighth’d and served dressed in Thousand Island dressing dripped with bacon crisps and croutons - I give you the iceberg wedge.
Only the greatest mullet salad of all times eaten with a knife and fork alongside a chargrilled porterhouse steak in any fine diner east of Eden.
James Cameron towed an iceberg from New Found Land to the movie set of the Titanic in New Mexico only it got stuck in the Panama Canal and melted, said SL4968Q on Reddit.
How to tow an iceberg has five hundred million and seventy-seven hits on Google, with the helpful hints - if you tow, go slow.
An iceberg is a large floating mass of ice detached from a glacier, 90% of it lies underwater I don’t know about you but I’m scratching my head.
So many bee sting summer suppers served torn in salads slick with gran’s Condensed milk mayonnaise fresh from the garden row granddad named slug bait.
It always pays to eat your wedge. Derris dusted or not.
In answer to the question - iceberg lettuce was not served on the Titanic in 1912 - this unsinkable member of the Daisy family only hit the veg markets in 1920.
Jane Bloomfield
Collection 2023-24-25
