The Princess and (That Pesky) Pea

 

A Princess on 20 Mattresses with Insomnia

The Princess and (That Pesky) Pea

by Jane Bloomfield

Chia Seed Guy

 

chia seed pud in jar x 2

Try as I Might I Cannot Think of an Appropriate Title for This 

Did you hear about the guy who had to have a wad of chia seeds surgically removed from his oesophagus? He’d washed down a dry tablespoonful – half the recommended daily dose - with a glass of water. Looking after your health is a mind field, who knows what’s the correct plant-based milk to warm with your nightie night time celebrity chef-endorsed mushroom powder before you stalk Gwyneth on Goop. Who knew Turkey Tails aid gut health and regulate your prebiotic bowel microbiomes until next week. What even is Kefir. Bat’s milk? If you’ve ever made chia seed pudding you’ll know those thirsty little black eyes absorb up to 27 times their weight in water. Chia-seed-guy was only concerned for his daily omega 3’s but on the way to his stomach those seeds, from the Salvia Hispanica (flowering mint) plant native to Mexico and Guatemala started to swell and swell into a gelatinous obstruction surgeons could only remove, not by cutting him open and fishing out a plug worthy of a selfie and a formaldehyde filled jam jar on the mantelpiece but by pushing it through into his stomach with a paediatric probe. He’d be glad he was anaesthetised for that sort of pain and embarrassment now with its own medial term – Esophageal Impaction with Chia Seeds. A good reminder to all health junkies – the proof is often in the pudding.