The Long and Short of it - a poem about shorts

#SilkByEloise sexy-long-short, avail Jan 2024

The Long and Short of It - a poem about shorts

 Summer arrived calling for shorts

in the peony patch I caught sight of a sight

all droopy muslin cheesecloth to the knee

thighs in need of a detox wrap or a timely longer short

I trotted to Rebel Sports - it was Black Friday - I felt black

a too cheery woman in high viz greeted me at the door

welcome have a nice day you’re welcome sort of nothing

what country was I in? I soon found myself in synthetic women’s

apparel country, a mum with daughter fresh blossomed discussed

sports bras, if they’re bouncing they’re stretching I offered not

and chanced upon some relaxed-fit basketball knee-drop shorts

talk about activewear as a mutton chop, a shoulder roast

Waikato green with lemon strips, excellent pocket form though

secateur deep, a market gardener’s handy short for sure

 

at the counter, a red-faced man strode in, before he got the door-drill

he yelled across the shop floor  – do you sell fridges?

he may as well have asked for a turkey-sized air fryer

have you tried Briscoes offered door lady

sold out

The Warehouse, counter lady

sold out, head hung, eyes close to weeping blood

a car park backlit plaster cast Madonna

what kind of fridge was this man after

walk-in, display, beer, camping, titanium, E-bike capable

cold sculpting fat freezing             polka dot?

Abruptly he about turned before melting a chocolate Santa

blocking the doorway, Black Friday had turned black comedy

Noel Leeming mumbled Berlie Sports underwire

 

back home I ripped the tags off my long new shorts

now also available in black

 

 

Jane Bloomfield

Collection 2023/24