Random Acts During Art School - a poem

"Random Acts"

a poem

The H has this annoying habit

Preserved for when I’m out of the house

on indulgent retreats

Such as a week-long poetry course ...

While I’m elsewhere

He’ll choose a random part of the kitchen and

Undo it

WHY?????????

To show off my slovenliness

Or his house husband-y-ness

Back at the ranch on Wednesday night, I found a herd of jars

Nineteen in total

Corralled on the bench whinnying for attention

Mine

I had foolishly demanded only the day before

‘Where are all those Pic’s peanut butter jars I keep

to re-use?’

Well there they were

In all their semi-sterilised, greasy glory

And all I could think at their finding

was

Fuck off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Screen Shopping - A Friday Night Poem

I poured myself a wine and

perused black leather

boots on the internet,

knee-high thigh-high

mid-calf

ankle

hungry work

I ate

cracker

after

cracker of

thick creamy blue

on Seasameals

I surfed boots until that wedge of cheese was

gone

and I needed another wine to

settle into Shorty Street on the widescreen

my shopping cart holding

one item

539 dollars US Italian knee highs

with exquisite stitching detail,

softest leather inner and outer,

flat heels but oh-so-stylish

will take you from

day time to night

time on the sofa
but I didn't click check-out

I clicked the laptop lid down on

those European toes that

will never-go-out-of- fashion

and turned up The Street

in my sheepskin slippers